I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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