ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I skipped work to stalk him.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
