I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
