Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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