All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
