I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
