If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
