Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
