its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
