i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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