He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She needs sedatives and a leash
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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