so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize