yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
