Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
