i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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