Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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