hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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