it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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