Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
