so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
