If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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