so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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