She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
