You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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