they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
