and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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