I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
