so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
