I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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