How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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