is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
