Where is the hickey?
I can text with my tongue
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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