Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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