i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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