it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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