We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
