i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
