Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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