i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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