just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize