the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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