Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
