I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
