what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
