i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
