I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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