Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
