Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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