Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
