guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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