Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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