Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
