He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
