i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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