I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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