then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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