I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
