i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
