Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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