I'm really into asian looking animals
I will die if light touches me.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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