The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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