we're blogging at a bar
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
